6.08.2009

Rachel and her awful, terrible, no good, very bad day

Did you read those books about Alexander when you were little? One of those days where everything seems to go wrong? I had one of those last Friday. (Don't worry, this does end on a good note) I was feeling sad because I wasn't working in the best work environment. I then went to work with a positive attitude, because the job itself was so great, I got to talk to nice people all day. With some cleaning and laundry once an hour. It's great. I have really been struggling with the awful talk that goes on in my workplace. I kept pushin the concerns out of my head, thinking I'd just been spoiled by my fabulous BYU jobs. Friday, I got in at 7:30 that mornin to be surrounded by language that would make sailors cringe. The Savior's name should never be used as an expression of frustration or even as a common filler word. I thought, whoa, these people are so nice but I could not hide the grimace on my face, I got sick to my stomach. I'd had enough, Wendy came in around 10 and I got in trouble for something. A little later, I got reprimended for the 1000th time for the water stains on the hardwood floor due to me overwatering the plants (maybe that story will be funny in a couple years...), throughout the day I felt like I was the only one doing anything wrong. I had never done so much wrong in one 8 hr shift of any job. On top of that, I was feeling socially awkward. No one got my jokes (is that genetic?), not to add that I don't have a lifestyle anywhere close to a single one of my coworkers. I left that day in tears and cried in the car. I had to stay in town until the YSA temple trip that night at 5:30. While there, I just prayed for peace. I couldn't quit my job, because I need the income, but I was just thinking about how awful that day was. I went to a party that night with some high school friends, dreading it. And rightfully so. We have just taken such different paths. We all go to different schools, but some how they are able to find connections, but our priorities lie in such different realms. I realized that night, I know I am supposed to lift those around me, but there comes a point where you are no longer lifting, but being pulled down. I talked to my parents that night and considered options, but they all seemed so far-fetched. The next day I went to work, bracing myself for closing alone with Wendy. I went into her office at the beginning of my shift and I gave her my 2 weeks notice. I felt so strongly to do it. All my coworkers are so nice, but I could not take anymore the immoral drag. She asked for my feedback and I gave it to her. She thanked me and did not know all that was going on. I wrote my letter and then began my 2 week countdown. I felt so good about my decision. But let me tell you, I still have my worries because summer is not relaxing for me any more, it's the time I need to get my butt to work and save the big bucks. I think that really bad day was what I needed to ignite the courage to leave there. Blessings :) But I know the Lord is goin to provide a way for me. So, we'll see how the next couple months pan out! xoxo

8 comments:

  1. you made a good choice! i'm glad you let wendy know what was up. That's tough, but way to go! You'll be able to find work even if it's odd jobs here & there.

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  2. Your big sis is right!!
    Heavenly Father knows your silent thoughts feelings and desires,he knows your struggling and he will provide a way.Even if it seems weird he probably is devising a secret plan to help you out right now.its always hard being the odd one out. = ))))

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  3. You made the right choice!

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  4. good job rachel. I know what you mean, i feel like back in high school i used to be able to handle bad language and crude behavior much better (probably because i was so desensitized, which is a bad thing). But now that I'm not around that stuff anymore, and whenever i come across it, I'm amazed by how much more sensitive and offended i feel. You did the right thing, and you're spiritual well being is the most important thing. I'm sure you'll figure something else out :)

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  5. Ugh, days like that are so hard. And it's so scary having to quit a job, especially when you really really want to but at the same time you don't know what your next move will be. But you totally will be taken care of. I think you made a very good choice.

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  6. Hey love! I'm sorry about YOUR bad day. Mine wasn't that bad--it was just funny! But I'm proud of you for being so strong:) I think the Lord will bless you for having faith and courage to stand up for what's right. I love you! I hope everything works out okay.

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  7. Hi Rachel,

    I so much enjoyed my evening with you last night! Sorry about your job, really, but you are better off being out of there. Something will come up to help you, especially if you pray for it. Anytime you want a listening ear I am here! I am so proud of you for recognizing the dangers of an environment like that. You deserve so much better! Just remember when you go look for another job, don't knock your former employer though. It could cost you. Come see me anytime. I am not very far away these days!

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  8. Oh Rach! Those days are the worst. I wish I was there to spend time with you. You word your emotions beautifully and I feel as if I understand completely.

    Call me anytime... seriously....because I love talking to you. You are a shining star. Things will work out for the better. Love and smile.

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