Word.

via

Coming Up For Air!

It's a miracle. Miracle. Happening to every day peeeeople.

Please tell me know you know that theme song.

Basically, it's miraculous I'm alive right now. I have been DYING this week. Half self-inflicted, half not.

About a month ago I filmed my sister's class to make an awesome video for her.

(Yes, she did have parents sign release forms for their bebes.)

I've been sick & really exhausted the past couple months, but honestly, I was putting off the video making until I felt better, because I was really excited to make it good.

Memorial day weekend was great & we definitely had a good time with Weston's family.
We came back Sunday for him to teach Elder's Quorum in our Salem church.

That afternoon we took it easy. By that I mean that I slept the entire 3 hour drive back to Salem from his parents house. I then went to church & slept through the first hour. I then went home because I couldn't stay awake and slept the last 2 hours of church & a couple more hours. I made dinner for Weston & I. I ate a little bit. We went for a drive & I tossed my dinner right into a storm drain. Then I went home & he watched Independence Day while I slept the rest of the night. 

Is that insane or what? Have I mentioned I've been pretty busy with my photography business in the evenings & apparently 3 hour road trips knock me out.

I don't remember the last time I slept that much to catch up.

Monday was the first day Weston & I have both have had off work/clinicals in forever together.

We decided we were going fishing.

Folks, that day was insane & I will post about it later.

I swear I felt like "If You Give A Moose A Muffin" Road Trip/Fishing Excursion Edition. 

Seriously.

Tuesday night when I got home from work I planned to crank out that video. I knew it would be a quick make & I could spend time making it cute w/ good menus, etc.

I tried to use Windows Movie Maker. That program has progressively gotten worse over the years.

It crashed over & over.
I got almost completely finished editing about 3 of those times. I was ready to throw the program out the window.
Today was her last day of school & was determined to have it done so her kids could watch it. They were so excited for this movie.

Wednesday night I had a couple people visiting me at 6 & my house was a disaster from neglect from the previous 2 days.

I got home from work at about 5:30, cleaned like a mad-woman. Had them visit at 6, then I ran over to the church building where I was in charge of the youth activity that night. I was there from 6:45-9p.m. & then I was determined to finish that movie for this morning. I used Adobe Premier & cranked out the movie. It took me 3 hours. Just to get a rough edit. I was so exhausted I kept falling asleep while moving clips around in the video.
I just had to burn it just so the kids could see it. I can touch it up later.
Begin burning & my Adobe Premier is requiring me to register my serial number.
SLJDOIHEGIJEGIj.
Fail.
Epic failure.

This morning I brought my laptop to work & registered my serial number & burnt the disc.
Sean & I met in a parking lot at 11:10 a.m. to do the disc exchange & her school lets out at 11:30.

Wow. A whirlwind doesn't even come close to the past couple weeks.

Also, this baby bump is growing. I took a picture the other day, but looked disgusting. 

Sorry, I'm not that shameless. I'll put up a picture soon, though!

Baby Gear

Collectors items.

We will be moving to Tennessee just when our baby is a couple months old, so for it's bedding arrangements I had a few requirements:

+Something I will want to keep

+Something affordable

+Something nice or re-finishable

+Not a crib (we don't have the space)

+Something small we can fit in our bedroom (Our bedroom is huge but shaped weird, because it has a plant ledge around 2 walls & windows, also. It leaves us with one way to arrange our bed furniture.)

So, I began my hunt. Everything I found was more than I was willing to fork out or just not what I was looking for.

I was convinced by good friends that a crib is worth buying new, because you keep it forever. I decided that I like that plan, but we don't have the $$ to buy one worth keeping forever. So, I started looking at cradles. I really wanted a wooden cradle, not one that sat on the floor, though, because I wanted to keep it next to my bed at night so I can tend the baby.

Everything I found looked like it was from the Amityville Horror house.

No, thanks.

The nice wooden cradles cost a few $'s.

I finally found this absolute prize.

It is being modeled by our Build-A-Bear baby bear swaddled in a manly fleece blanket.

Courtesy of my mom & dad when we told them we were pregnant.

It was $30.

It will be refinished.

 Here's our gliding rocking chair we got about 1.5 yrs ago when we were trying to rub pennies together for good luck to have a baby.

I finally refinished it in January, giving up hope that we'd get pregnant anytime soon and figured I should just recover it to match our bedroom, since we wouldn't be needing a nursery.

It is a great chair, just has a lot of ugly patches on the wood. We were going to refinish it for the nursery.

 (please excuse the blurriness)

It was $25.

Such a steal. Especially because it has the rocking ottoman as well. That is hard to find on the cheap.

I found this chair later for $30....it is in great condition minus some chipped parts & baby scribble all over the ottoman, but the structure of the chair is perfect. I HAD to get it...because the cushions looked much comfier & I was dreading sanding down the tiny bits & pieces of our above Goodwill chair.

We are waiting to find out the gender of our baby before refinishing this, because I have different nursery ideas for the two different genders. I am so excited though & can hardly wait to find out! We'll hopefully find out in 3 weeks as long as our little peanut isn't being a tease! I will post some finished pics of this chair down the road!

Anyways, we love our new chair and our old one is up for sale! If you know anyone looking for an old glider!

We also got a Boppy w/ a tray for $20 bucks. Good finds everywhere, folks. Any other suggestions for "must-haves" when having a baby?

I am trying to find them on KSL before we move to TN & don't have awesome classifieds anymore!

Growing my little bean to 13 weeks.

 

Because of my history with blood clots & with my anatomical issue of the uterine/cervix septum, the pregnancy is high-risk.

Which, meant I got to go get an ultrasound at 6 weeks. This was so wonderful.

I was subconsciously a complete ball of anxiety & I couldn't sleep at all the night before the ultrasound.

If you know me, you know this is not normal. I am a sleeping professional.

The anxiety didn't necessarily come from me thinking there wouldn't be a heartbeat. Though that was on my mind. I also thought this was probably all one giant mistake & there probably wasn't really a baby in there.

My number one fear was that the baby would be implanted on the uterine septum. 

Which is a big issue.

Aka the baby will NOT survive.

 I asked the tech 100 times over if it was implanted on the septum & she said no...Oh my goodness.

Best news ever.

Then, there it was, the most perfect little ball of cells I'd ever seen.

Our baby had a heartbeat. And we got to hear it.

I honestly thought this is when it would REALLY be real.

Nope, I still left all nervous.  I don't know what my deal was.

As though the complete exhaustion, constant nausea, & constipation weren't constant proof enough.

It just really didn't sink in. I don't know how it sinks in for people, really. I mean, I'm now 3 months & I think it just sunk in. JUST.

It may be, because I wasn't talking about it openly or screaming it from rooftops.

Or because it was something we'd tried for & been wanting for over 2 years.

Or maybe it's just normal for it to take a long time to feel like it's all real.

I'm not really sure what it was, but it didn't sink in!

We went in for our 8 week appointment w/ my doctor & it was a whirlwind. 

He called me back the next day with tons of information.

The perinatologists (specialized maternal-fetal medicine obgyns) I'm going to also be seeing throughout the pregnancy. He also told me that my favorite drug. Lovenox. Is coming back into my life.

This is the shot I had to do twice a day for a month in my stomach after my blood clot back on December 1st That was the longest week of my life. Maybe because I had to lay flat on my back. Or maybe it was because I was nauseous 24/7 from the Lovenox. Or maybe it was because I was dehydrated & had to go get my blood drawn every day for a few weeks equaling about 5 needle pokes & lots more digging to find veins.

That was my memory of Lovenox...no, please!

But yep, I get Lovenox again. This time it's prophylactic.  Pregnancy ups the chances of blood clots. And since apparently I'm prone, they're taking precautionary measures to thin out that blood.

 SO, I get to do a Lovenox shot in my stomach every night. Weston would always do my shots because he likes medical stuff.  The first week I just wanted to cry. That stuff burns. Then I had to start doing it because Weston is away for days at a time all summer doing clinicals at fire departments & hospitals. Aka I'm home alone & get to stick myself!

I've got it down now & I've really gotten used to it. Thank goodness. It was going to be a terrible 8 more months with that being painful every time.

At yesterday's appointment it was funny because the doctor pulled out the Doppler machine & said "Okay, there's the bellybutton...there's the Lovenox..hahahah my stomach has red/purple needle dots all over it & it's black & blue around all those marks. 

Who knew needle holes take so long to heal, I have at least 10 showing at all times!

I've been so happy that all the pregnancy sickness has seemed so insignificant, though it's made work significantly more miserable. Some days I don't even smile at patients.

"What's your birthday? K, what's your last name? K, what do you need to see a doctor for?" This person better talk faster so I can run to puke in the bathroom AFTER their call & not in the middle of talking to them.

I've felt really sick at various times with some different things, but it's getting better, maybe because I've found treatments that work better than others! But hallelujah today I haven't gagged or thrown up at all so far. No matter how this day ends, it's already a success!

We are so so happy!

We're part of a study called NuMom2Be that's put on by the NIH.  We got to get an extra ultrasound around 10 weeks. It was AWESOME & so good to see our little bean flourishing!

It looked like this then:

It was just a little frog at that point! This picture wasn't of the clearest view, but you get the idea!

Yesterday we had another appointment w/ our OB & he said we don't do an ultrasound that day but they do use the doppler to hear the heartbeat! I was so excited! Weston had been so nervous leading up to the appointment.

I did not know why he was nervous & told him to chillax, it'll all be good!

The doctor pulled out the Doppler & couldn't find the heartbeat  he pushed harder & in all directions & still couldn't find it. My heart was sinking. Seriously, I haven't had fear of miscarriage the past couple weeks & was feeling good about everything. My heart just sank. My eyes started welling up & wanted to grab is scrubs & say "FIND THAT HEARTBEAT!"

But he beat me to it, "Uh...looks like I was kidding, we ARE going to do an ultrasound today."

He went & got the machine & wheeled it in. 

Longest 30 seconds of my life.

I was just waiting for the horrible news. He puts it on my belly & there's the little baby's bubble of fluid.

He narrows in on it and sure enough there is our baby's profile. The cutest little baby I've ever seen. Even though their head is still ginormous. Then all of a sudden the baby was gone he said "Whoa, that wasn't me, that was the baby! He's doing flips." (No, we don't know the gender, Weston & the doctor kept referring to the baby as a he.)

Then all of a sudden the tiniest little leg kicked & then the arm punched and then the baby flipped again.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is when it felt real.

Weston was jumping out of his skin excited.

He was jumping up & down w/ excitement!

The baby is flipping & punching & kicking inside of there. Which totally caught me by surprise, because I can't feel a thing, but oh my goodness. It was amazing.

 The baby is measuring back at 12.5 weeks, so that's where we're at now (it was a little ahead of schedule based on size at the last visit).

I can't believe something so small (the size of a peach) can be moving so much! Our baby is just bigger than Weston's big toe (he has a big big toe) & it's flipping & moving around like Free Willie!

It was the best day!

Then we went & used a voucher we had for Sub-Zero & the day went down a couple notches, Weston & I were both sick from that! I haven't had that fatty of dairy in a long time, it tasted good, but we had serious stomach aches after!

If you're curious about my cravings they've all been for savory foods.

I can only have my Cafe Rio salad on the first day.

The other half of the salad goes to Weston, the leftovers smell makes me gag.

I can finally eat vegetables again.

My first throw up item was a green smoothie.

My mom said "Ew, those are gross before they even go down!"

I have also thrown up green beans. And then I got smart & have stayed away from vegetables that weren't in salad form for the past 8 weeks. 

I also don't take prenatals anymore. Only folic acid & Vitamin B-6.

Miralax is my best friend. And also makes me toss my cookies.

Fresca is my other best friend.

(catching the trend?)

It's so awesome to have constant reminders that there's a little human growing in there!!

I'm not sure if you were able to read through all of this info, but folks, if you can't tell. I'm so so very happy.

I will also post belly pics soon! It's very subtle & mostly just bloating, I'm sure, so once I'm definite it's not just a food baby, I'll put some up!

I know I haven't mentioned Weston much in these posts, I've basically been exploding my thoughts & feelings out there, but he's totally awesome.

He's great & going to be a great dad! He's as excited about this baby as I am.

I just hope the baby isn't the same size he was when it's born...

Baby Surprises!

Well, it's crazy and miraculous, but we got pregnant!

We found out the day before we were supposed to fly to NYC for the IVF clinical study.

Don't know what I'm talking about?

Check it out HERE.

Saturday night after I wrote that blog post Weston & I went out for his birthday dinner at Tucanos.

I had been feeling REALLY tired for a couple weeks.

That night I was seriously wiped, but for no reason. At dinner we were chatting, but I could barely keep my eyes open. I ate a few bites of really well cooked meat & then basically sat there trying to act awake & alive while Weston chowed so that it was a good birthday celebration for him!

The whole week was an absolute whirlwind.
Sunday morning, I was depending on my cycle to start at an exact day. Everything with that study was seriously dependent upon days in my cycle. Which makes it highly difficult, because I had to schedule the study appointment at least a week in advance of the first day of my cycle. Sunday was the LATEST day my cycle could have started. It did start & then abruptly stopped.
I was so frustrated.

All day Monday it didn't start up again, either. I went to my cousin's wedding reception that night & my sister & I stopped at Target. I picked up some pregnancy tests at Target, because every time I take a pregnancy test it's negative & my cycle starts up RIGHT after that. For those people who don't believe mind's affect the body. They're wrong. I've never been late in my cycle ever. I've never had certain pregnancy symptoms when I'm PMS-ing. Until we started trying to get pregnant. All of a sudden I developed pregnancy symptoms that other people have as pms symptoms, but I never had & my cycle would be late. I'd get so excited, take a test, it would always be negative & I'd start my period that night or the next morning. It was a cruel, cruel trick my body was playing on my mind.

Anyway, I called my mom when I was driving home from Dani's that night & told her how I bought the tests to take to jump-start my cycle up again. She told me to call her if it was good news. I got irritated & told her "Seriously, Mom, it's not going to be. It never is."

I got home around 11, the same time as Weston.
I didn't even tell him about how I bought them, because I was just going to throw the negative tests away & start packing for our NY trip which we were leaving for on Wednesday morning.

I take the test then brush my teeth & start getting ready for bed.

I glimpsed down at it and saw the little +.....
Uh... Whaaa?

"Uh....Wes...."

I walked into the room while he was getting on his PJs & showed him the test.

"?????? Wait... what does this mean?"

"I'm not sure. I think it's a false positive."

We went & sat on the couch for a while &  kind of just sat there in silence. There was no celebrating or screaming. I was not about to get my heart crushed by this false positive.

The next morning I took 3 more tests. All positive..

Okay...maybe this is real.

I told my best friend at work, Jen. She freaked out. I mean, the kind of awesome freak out only a great friend can give. I still hadn't gotten excited yet, because I didn't believe it.
This is the first time I got more excited, because if she thought it was real, maybe I could too.

When my OBGYN's office opened I called Denise, Dr. Drewes' nurse, & she started screaming. I mean REALLY screaming in her office. All the nurses I work with also screamed. Seriously, folks, I have the greatest group of friends/coworkers surrounding me.

I was starting to believe it more. I told Denise how I don't know if it's real & that I need to cancel my NYC trip if I am pregnant, "We're supposed to leave tomorrow!"
(There's no way we could afford this trip, but the baby was worth it to us...if we had our baby we couldn't go to NYC!)

I went into the office & she did another pee test. Hers did not show a line.

That's exactly what I thought.

She sounded really deflated & said "...do you drink a lot of water?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, let's do a blood test, because maybe your pee was diluted"

I went over to the hospital, did the blood test & had to wait until about 3p.m. when Denise called me & told me "YOU ARE PREGNANT!"
I was dying with excitement.

I didn't tell Weston, though, I wanted to surprise him!
I told him all day that I hadn't heard back from Denise yet. He was down at UFRA for the paramedic program. I snuck up to Target first & bought a little baby outfit. I just wanted an excuse to buy a baby outfit. hahah That's what I surprised him with when I picked him up from school! He was so excited! He picked me up & spun me a million times, every time hitting my ankles on the door frame  "Ow, ooh, ouch...okay, ow, put me down!"
That describes our relationship perfectly...or maybe more-so Weston! hahaha

Anyway,  we were really excited & went to Cafe Rio to celebrate!
The only real place to celebrate is Cafe Rio.
(Plus, we had about 400 different gift cards from my friend & my parents gave us 2 for Christmas & then another one to Weston for his bday. And we get half off there, because Weston is an EMT. Awesome.)

I ordered these mugs for my parents, but my mom was in Michigan, so I knew it'd be a while till they got to them. 

So, I called her that afternoon and told her really sadly that, "We're not going to New York anymore"

"What?! Why?"

"We can't do the study."

"Why not?!!"

"Well, because we're pregnant."

I thought she was going to die. 

She made me call back after the free hotel dinner to announce it on speaker phone to my Grandmother, Aunt Julie, & little brother.

They were all so excited! It was such a good day!

That night we went over & surprised my sister. & told her we weren't going to NY, also. She was so sad for us, until I showed her that same little outfit I'd shown Weston.

The next morning I called & told my cousin Kristin who after having her first little girl was having problems getting pregnant again. We had just been talking the week before bc we were expecting our cycles to start at the same time, but I was really nervous to call & tell her, because I knew she wanted to be pregnant, too.

I called her on my way to work & she screamed & screamed & told me she's pregnant, too! 

We're due the same week. How awesome is that?

We decided since we'd told all our close family & friends. Except Weston's family.

I seriously love good surprises & I was really dying to surprise his family since I couldn't keep my big mouth shut enough to decently surprise my family!

So, I made us these shirts.

I thought my printer was an ink-jet printer. Until I melted the iron-on glue all over my laser printer. Thanks for helping me, Dad. I'm sorry your daughter is so tech-dumb! "Dad, it melted everywhere!" "That's because you have a laser printer!"

After a 2 a.m. run to Wal-mart for a new printer, I was able to finish the shirts at my dad's hotel in Provo at about 3 a.m. 

I felt absolutely destroyed. 

But I had spent so much time & $$ on these shirts that had way more road blocks than I've even mentioned that I was not going to go to bed without shirts to give them. 

So, we went to bed at 3a.m. on Easter morning & told his parents we were coming home early from NYC, because the study didn't work & we were depressed.

Yeah, we kept them thinking we were in NYC all week! All it took were vague texts & they thought we were there. Amazing!

So, we drove down wearing hoodies over our shirts & I rolled Joan & Dave's shirts up &wrapped rubber bands around them like souvenir t-shirts. Below is us giving them the shirts at their family Easter dinner! It was fun & everyone was so shocked & happy!

We went to visit Weston's grandma who was in the hospital after having blood clots that week.

She bawled when we told her!

The due date is the day after their 50th wedding anniversary. Pretty special :)

All in all it was a GREAT surprise. 

This baby will be well spoiled w/ it being the first grandchild on both sides. We don't mind.

cowbombed

I'm so sorry I've been such a bum & haven't posted about something REALLY big going on! I promise that's coming.

For now, PLEASE enjoy this amazing picture....

I was taking more engagement pictures of Danielle & Sean last night. I dragged them over to the field by my house for some pictures with my favorite cows.

& there it is. Photobombed by a cow.

Hilarious.

I laughed so hard.

I love that 27-toothed man!

We had to go back into the dentist last night because Weston thought his bone graft was failing.

Everything looked A-Okay, though!

You're looking at one expensive mouth right there!

Youch!

He's been doing alright & LOVED his first 48 hr shift with the Sandy FD. 

He goes up to IMC in Murray today to work in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit (CICU). He is so excited. He loves the cardiac system & learning about the heart. That shift is 3p.m. to 11p.m.