Spence-isms

The following are quotes of my 17 yr old brother, supplied by the Spencer Stolworthy facebook fanpage made by his friends. (please ignore the awful formatting, it turned out weird from copying it from facebook. I tried playing with it, but this is the best I got.)

"Alia, you can't have your cake and eat it too! AND I AM THE CAKE!"

Spencer: "Mrs. Smith, why are you so unhappy lately?" Mrs. Smith: "Because my husband's gone for 6 weeks..." Spencer: "I'LL BE YOUR HUSBAND!!!" Mrs. Smith: "That would not make me happy!"

"Here's what we need to do, we need to take obama and put him next to the pope, and if the pope evaporates then we know Obama is the Anti-Christ."

Spencer: "Ah, you have unceasing witt." Ben:"Do I have unceasing witt, Spencer?" Spencer:"No, you have unceasing un-witt!"

*Kenz tripped down the stairs into Spencer* "Ah, kenz..the grace of 1,000 unicorns."

"Rob, don't you know theres an inverse relation to our efficiency here and the # of communists at the table?"

"Kenz! This is not hello time.. This is Kenz. stop. time."

"Becca! It's so good to see you. See, I'm practicing to be a politician! You couldn't even tell I was lying.

"Mom, next year could you wrap each persons presents in a separate paper? That would streamline the present opening process."

Spencer-"Alia, text me when you and Ryker break up" Alia-"Why?" Spencer-"So, that I can swoop you off your feet. Of course.....I'm going to have to spend 6 months on P90X." Friend-"P90X only takes 3 months, Spencer." Spencer-"Yeah, well....*points at Alia* I need 6 months."

"I feel naked without Alan and Steve here...they are like my loincloth."

"It is the seventeenth day of the ninth month of the 2009th year of our Lord and I am wasting away in the library, writing a paper about a book that I did not read."

"Rob. Love fades. AP Euro, however, does not." (who's this Rob guy? Apparently he's a good friend of my brother's...that I've never met?!)

"I am as bored as a toothless beaver."

Okay this next one absolutely killed me. Spencer & I were talking over Thanksgiving break & I told him how I was going to go bunny-hunting with Weston. He told me to be careful & asked if I had ever even used a gun, etc. I told him to relax, that I'd be fine & he said:

"Well, nothing kills a relationship like a bullet."

I died. & also took notes on how not to ruin my relationship. Baahahah. Spencer seriously makes me cry just about every time he opens his mouth. Either because he calls me grande or he says something funny, both of which occur regularly.

xoxomyfamily'shilarious